there's a booger on my laptop, i suspect it's yours
Hungover. Be in at noonish. Turn my monitor on and put a hot cup of coffee on my desk so the boss thinks I'm in
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
her cat was choking so she kept trying to stick her finger in her cat's mouth while saying "it's okay kitty, just do what mommy does"
For once I'd like to have a Taco Sunday without having some random drunk chick flee my house half naked and in tears.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
I'm just chillin on the bathroom floor
Haha oh no
The bathroom floor is like my second bedroom on the weekends
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Who knew a blowjob could cause this kind of crazy
He wasn't prepared for it
So you're saying that I ended up challenging a dude to Uno then proceed to punch them in the face?
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
