How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
there was some random girl that nobody really knew, standing in the corner trying to shave her armpits with a plastic butter knife.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
I know. My only sports are biking to buy drugs and running from the police.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Smoked a joint with my old camp counselor and now we're going to a strip club. There is a god.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
my mom asked if I found my Easter basket. it's 1PM & I got home an hour ago from last night. if I'm looking for anything, it's my dignity.
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
