I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think the waitress doesn't beleive I have friends coming. I've had 4 drinks and a large salad just waiting for you guys.
When you're opening a bottle of tequila with a golf club, it's probably time to stop drinking...
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
Dude it started out with let's find some food and ended up with me getting a needle in the face
We shaved off his eyebrows I'm pretty sure his fiance will be thrilled at the wedding
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I can recall having this conversation with a three year old, but go on
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
I don't know how it started but we all ended up shirtless andI was covered in crawfish and wearing a sombrero.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
