your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
He just made his dick say "woof" and howl at me. can you pick me up?
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
I've got beer and a bag of saltwater taffy and croutons, is that enough for this typhoon thing?
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
I ditched my one night stand in the hotel lobby. How did he add me on Snapchat?
Randomize
