i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
everybody makes mistakes
i didn't know they allowed you to text in ambulances
Apparently i just threw up in the bathroom, i told them i just blew my nose. i don't think they believe me...
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
I went to the bar without a bra on pretty sure you can go to Taco Bell drive thru with no pants
we're spending all day in bed drinking spiked eggnog and fucking
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
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