So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
im so bored in class... i just made a pie graph of my favorite bars and a bar graph of my favorite pies
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Is there a reason why the cops knew her name as they were chasing her?
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
I forgot if I was chewing my gum or my tongue
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Randomize
