Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
My balls had bee stings let's just leave it at that.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
It was kind of like a train wreck, except alcohol would have improved the situation greatly.
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Ya. My thumbs are those buffalo's, but my legs are spirits and my torso is that Indian guys and my head is the eagle
The bad news is that I stole all your drugs. The good news is that ITS KICKING IN!
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
There is a time and place for BDSM, in-between disney sing-alongs is not one of them.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
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