You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
He used his penis as a puppet and sang Rihanna's Hard..... so no, we will never see each other again.
Playing hide and seek with all those cheeseburgers... Not our finest moment.
I just found a bag of teeth...
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
my roommate would be appalled if she knew how many times i've peed in the kitchen sink
still can't believe dude took a personal call while he was balls deep in my mouth.
should i be that dick who brings a carpet in an uberpool
Why are you moving a carpet?
it's unimportant
Its like the floor is slow but life is fast?
I see you found the nyquil...
His wife just cheated on him for the third time. I'm his first extra-marital fling, that makes it ok, right? You know to keep karma balanced in the universe
Your logic is flawless...
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
