You would DIE at the bar we're at right now. All indian/asian med students, I swear
Asian doctor ratio. So hot. I would've gone into heat
I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
At some point I made a semi-conscious decision that i was okay with sleeping in my own vomit.
Tim hortons said i dont meet their criteria. What the fuck criteria is that? You put bagels in an oven.
Dude, I just saw a sixteen year old girl in a catholic school uniform buying a pregnancy test... With a coupon!
i don't want you to think of me as your TA
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
You ruined his night from a different state? Impressive.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
I got really stoned and got my certification as an ordained minister. How productive has your day been?
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