peeing is so easy when youre drunk. you just tell your body to pee and it pees.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Holy jesus god. My teeth taste like street.
I found a dealer that takes plastic. I'm so in trouble.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
she moaned out jack bauer's name while i was banging her...
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
If you don't let me come over I'm gonna call you on speaker and you have to listen to her scream and moan too
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
If you get laid dressed as my dad that makes me extremely uncomfortable
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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