If you really hate me that much, you need to stop letting me put my penis inside of you. It sends the wrong message.
Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
whats a positive sounding word for "exploit"?
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
he said I could live with him because I'm cheaper than a dog and don't need a pet deposit. That and I don't piss on the carpet...
This girl did not understand, once police sirens go on, road-head needs to STOP
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Eh, my puke tasted like lemonade, so not too bad
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
