His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
dude, you're never picky with who you hook up with, have a little dignity
nah man, chicks are like pokemon, gotta catch \'em all
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
I just realize today that I've dated three guys this year with their own blog. Ugh that's embarrassing.
I have fireworks and redbull; let's make heart attack inducing magic happen.
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
That accounts for only three of the penises
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I've needed to start drinking protein shakes to keep up with her. It's like my dick just started doing crossfit.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
The dog destroyed my vibrator and swallowed several pieces. Vet gave us a laxative so now I’m checking lots of dog shit and having no orgasms. Plus the cute vet knows I don’t get enough dick, so that’s just great
Randomize
