are you still at the devil's house?
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
She just used a chaser for red wine.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Theres a guy in your room wearing a franzi box costume and some girl is in the box giving him head.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
FRIENDS DON'T LET FRIENDS WASTE THE LAST ADDERALL.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
Randomize
