i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i just heard Winston Churchill in auto-tune. thank you nerds.
Note to self. Champagne flavored lube is neither as tasty nor as classy as one might think.
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
i just did the math...im a product of my mothers birthday sex
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Like. There is beer on the other side of that door and 6 yards in. If he's not back in 20 minutes to let me in, I am using this tree as a battering ram.
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Randomize
