i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
Found a left over fake Olympic medal from our party last weekend. Awarded it to a random girl in the bar last night. Its the only thing she was wearing this morning when she woke up at my place.
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
I'll see your cousin, and raise you a sister.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
Your lack of dedication to alcohol is forcing me to drink with my ex husband. U suck
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
I don't know where I'm at. But I'm pretty sure what I'm looking at is a small bear.
He saw me naked after our first date and still asked for a second.. so I think we’re doing good
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
