We had two amazing nights in a row...it was so weird...I couldn't even go to sleep cause I thought maybe it was just in his plot to kill me.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
I haven't seen any of my friends sober in months. We have classes together.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
you thought the best thing to say to him was "you aint no fuckin cop"
I only gave you one rule about using the beach house: don’t get cum on anything!
You’ve seen my tits! You had to know that rule was unrealistic! Does it help that he was really cute?
It's official, I'm not staying in tonight
What caused that decision?
You only live once
Randomize
