The best part of listening to lady gaga while high is that any word your brain puts in is right.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
You had me at "let me see your balls"
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
She has an alarming number of pictures with cat ears but the sex is amazing.
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