i wish that high-me and normal-me were two different ppl so that high-me could thank normal-me for setting out a feast before smoking
I wish that high-you wouldn't text me stupid shit at 3:30 in the morning
The beer is more important than you right now.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
All I remember is taking a bath, puking in the bath water numerous times while trying to wash myself and I must of eventually given up
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The EMTs said they would give me as many blankets as I wanted if I didn't pee in the ambulance. They even turned on the sirens.
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Watching the wiggles while tripping on acid is the scariest fucking thing of all time
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
I biked home blackout drunk last night, but I have some memory of throwing my bike in a rage when I couldnt get it down the stairs. No idea on the bright orange puke in the sink.
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
I feel like my life just hangs in the balance of "Yeah I'm probably not doing this right"
Dignity. Ruined. Must. Smoke. Weed.
Randomize
