bro...we were banging on her floor and her dog walked in and started licking my balls
I just saw a Puerto Rican child between the ages of 8 and 11 with a faint mustache talking very loudly on the bluetooth in his ear about how "Skittles are played the fuck out"
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
WHY IS EVERY MAN IN THIS CITY GAY? IS IT SO BAD TO WANT TO BE TREATED LIKE A PIECE OF SHIT BY A REALLY HOT STRAIGHT MAN FOR A NIGHT?
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
A reason for us to be drunk all week National Singles Week
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
I'm ashamed and embarrassed. Unless we get drunk and have random sex with people we will never see again we might lose ourselves.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
