I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
it's amazing how much more room there is in my purse when I'm not carrying alcohol in it
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
Long story short, the rash from your last birthday party told me not to go to this one.
I don't know what he did to me, but he did it wrong. I think my pelvis is broken. I cant even drive without it hurting. What. The. Fuck.
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Let's be honest, I've seen a decent amount of dicks in my life and very few of them have been worth all the trouble.
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
