Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
I totally need to blow more fat guys. His cum tasted like vanilla ice cream
Housing is going to charge us for any broken dishes/glassware. Steal as many glasses as you can from the bars tonight. I got the baking dish and 3 plates covered.
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
Remind me never to take that much Vicodin ever again. I laid in bed measuring my heart rate for an hour and a half because I was afraid it would stop.
I'm trying to pinpoint the moment when "don't do anything I wouldn't do" became bad advise.
Let the vodka take you where it will. Like Pocahontas, but wasted
She just got on the scale. frowned, got off and took off her pants and then got back on
Life is when you're laying naked in bed, eating Double Stuff Oreos with your boyfriend, blazed as fuck. Happy 4/20.
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
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