Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
he's 25, hott, and leaving for iraq tuesday, i wanna get in as much as possible...
your life is a nick sparks novel waiting to happen
Next thing I know we're all standing in the kitchen holding hands and thanking God for the beer.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
you set the microwave for an hour telling me that the done sound was your alarm.
I know it was you because you're the only person I know who gets drunk and craves soup.
Soup is delicious
We are lost and the only things we have are peanut brittle, cookies and vodka. I think we'll make it.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
Awkward drunk fist bump with the boss. Not sure if tomorrow will be weird or wonderful.
Her boyfriend offered to buy me a vibrator. I'm not sure how to feel about that.
We're in a hurricane and you send me a video of you playing with your dick while driving! You wanna die?!
Get over your kidney infection all ready. You have been sober for too long.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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