He is fucking rediculously sexy. DO HIM NOW. NOW. NOW. NOW.
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
Had sex with the ex last night. Regretting to begin in 5, 4, 3, 2, 1... WHYYYYYYYYYY!
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
If there is a god, you will have pink eye tomorrow.
He tipped the stripper with quarters. After that not even the waitress would talk to us. I had to move to another table to get a lapdance
Went from beach to class to bar all while wearing my swimsuit as pants. Clearly I'm dressed for success.
She is still a psychotic unstable bitch, and is therefore PERFECT drinking game fodder
We fucked to showtunes. Never going out with a theatre major ever again.
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
Randomize
