OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
She's the only one so far who hasn't laughed at me naked.... I'm gonna marry her.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
Ok, I have three hours. I'm trying to work out two blow jobs and a taco.
it was like a shit fog rolling out of the east to encompass me and have it's way with me
AND WHAT FELONIES DID I MISS OUT ON WHILE SLUMBERING!?
xanax give me strength to not ask where we stand with booty calls
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
