She went from zero to smokin in five shots
I went to his work to give him some blankets and ended up blowing him in the bathroom. See what happens when you don't come over?
I just puked in a penis shaped cake pan. I've hit an all new low for a Tuesday.
I've realized that you're the only friend i can rely on to drink with me any given day. i thank you for that.
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
He said i got a new job lets blow this money he bought 4 bottles at the club he is now crying after seeing the reciept
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
He pulled a kid having a seizure out of a car and stayed with him until the ambulance came.
he what???
Not kidding. My ovaries cannot handle this shit...swear next time he'll rescue a bunch of pound puppies and hand them out to lonely orphans.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
Pretty much all i've had today is sugar and orgasms
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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