Next time, if you wake and bake, make sure you nail the wake part. Not easy to explain to mum. Or the fire brigade.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
i just woke up to a text from him apologizing for making me eat a full lemon
I met her tumbling down the stairs chugging Captain Morgan. I'm not sure why she has the better reputation either.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Our relationship is representative of a cognitive bias that leads to bad decision making and misplacement of resources. So should we pick up some whiskey tomorrow?
She stumbled into class and Google image searched nipple piercings for the entire 75 minutes
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
You missed the winter stoner olympics last night....I got the gold in blunt rolling
He got in a fight. Then called me drunk to see if he should bail his friends out, or walk through a Taco Bell drive-thru. True love.
And one groomsman rode a suitcase cart like a skateboard until he crashed and took out a piece of sheet rock. Later he pulled out his nuts.
IT IS NICKEL SHIT NIGHT
*shot. Why
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
You can’t judge a dick by its balls.
So just spent 30 minutes of my life talking to my cousins friend who told me she buys cocaine from a pizza place by asking for extra Parmesan
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