hey i know this is weird but does alcohol affect pregnancy tests?
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
I just signed a document stating that I would dd all summer if they would go pickup food.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
It's not an office Christmas party until your boss confesses his undying love for your boyfriend...
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
His arresting officer when they were busting up the squat party recognized him from the anti-drone protest. He was like Jesus kid, you were sober last time.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
Ugh. Lets go crawl into a dairy-gluten-chlamydia free hole somewheres.
She's passed out with a slice of pizza between her boobs should I just eat it and leave
National tequila day this year falls on a Monday. I've never been more disappointed in my life.
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I need to go home for the safety of everyone in a 10 mile radius, especially me
I'm hungover from the 8pm vodka and still drunk from the 5am beer.
Randomize
