He just said "I made some changes in my life. The male g-spot is in the rectum and I wanted to explore that."
Ok just saw a girl open a pillbox, dump it out on her notebook and count out 13 adderall tabs and put them in a baggie and leave. Oh hey college.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
I think I might.. possibly.. like a Justin Bieber song.
I think you might... possibly... have sprouted a vagina.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
He started to lose his balance halfway through his "commencement speech" at the top of the staircase. The rest is bloody, profanity-laiden history.
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
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