You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
She just invited me to drunkenly make out on the kitchen floor again.....
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
I'm sorry but that single bed couldn't hold all five of us, especially with those boobs.
I take pride in being a married 31 year old who sleeps on her best friend's bathroom floor from time to time.
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
First of all she starred talking about God which immediately killed my buzz
It was like if the scent of sour milk and burning tires had a baby in taste form.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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