Last night he was fingering me with one hand to his ear, calling himself 'dj clittles'
Thats what happens when go home with guys that wear shutter shades to the bar..
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
This whole foot fetish thing is getting out of control. He would rather hold my feet than me after we fuck.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
There's a hand-carved wooden bong in my backpack, and i really wish i could remember last night now.
No, no. The rest of his everything inspires me to put his dick in my mouth
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I'm just like... Utterly amazed that we're still alive at this point. Who'da thunk it....
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
This is a weird combination of planning and sexting but whatever
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