Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Do you knowwwwww you never ha to pee while lhr on eztacy
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
You played a drinking game to fat people crying. It's a long climb to the moral high ground, why bother?
Russians do not operate on the same level as the rest of us. hoping I wake up tomorrow
Winner winner, chicken dinner. I am the sole survivor of the orgy without strep. Or maybe I was the carrier?
Mark just took 50mg Viagra. Tonight should be interesting for the neighbors.
I inhaled my own vomit, how was your night?
I AM A HOUSE CAT. I CANNOT DO THIS LION BUSINESS WE CALL THE SINGLE LIFE
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
Randomize
