he was going down on me when he saw the warts...nevertheless he told me he had to pick his sister up from school. why does this keep happening to me???
Apparently married women at the office don't like getting congratulated on getting "knocked up"
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
and he says: but we did find out that your ovaries have never released eggs. first thing out of my mouth: so i didnt really need to take the morning after pill so many times in college?
not the response he usually gets im sure.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
ENDLESS SCROLLING ON TUMBLR WAS MADE FOR HIGH PEOPLE!
While you were puking in the ocean I was rubbing your back saying "Just give it back to Mother Earth".
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Me and a 30 year old man are sitting in my bathtub in swimsuits drinking straight rum from the bottle. Don't tell me how fucked up your Christmas is.
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
His penis is average but his stamina is amazing!!! I didn’t know I had that many orgasms in my body!!!!
Randomize
