..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
where am i from again
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
Never forget that any girl can get her way if she puts her vagina on the table.
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
She forgot my birthday again. How do you forget something that came out of your vagina???
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
Throwing up out both ends. This is not how I pictured adulthood.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
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