Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
My mail consisted of a box of dildos and christmas card from grandma.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
ARE YOU THINKING VAGINA THEMED RESTAURANT
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
I remember puking but I don't remember where. PSA: don't go barefoot around the house
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
It's time you knew: I have been dating your probation officer for 7 months. Pretty certain he's THE ONE. So, thanks for being a criminal.
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
