so the weed I found in my fridge is actually lettuce. tell jim I need that 5 bucks after all
I think god was stupid personally. The clit should be inside the vagina. Idiot.
Just saw an ad for "Liver-aid" how has this not become a life changing drug for millions?
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
can I cover your dick in cookie butter?
that awkward moment when you use blowjob jokes as a segue into coming out as bi
I heard Enya coming from steve’s room. I am too high to handle this sudden depth of character
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
