I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Why the hell does jager make you get to the point of having to army crawl around cause you cant feel your legs and scream jaga bombs when puking??
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
you put your hands over the taxi driver's eyes and shouted GUESS THE WAY TO THE CLUB
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I figured it out. If I have at least 4 shots of vodka before I start my day, EVERY day will be a good day.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
Monday funday. I brushed my teeth with antibacterial soap. hangover I did not have.
Maybe you should stop dating for awhile if the chicks aren't working out. Reacquaint yourself with your hand or something.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
