I don't know where I am, but I'm drinkin & I like these people
Just kissed her with a dip in my mouth... She was either too drunk to notice or too cool to care
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
i wish the dell website had a "did you drink an entire bottle of rum and stepped on your laptop which shattered the screen this weekend and would like to know how to fix it without your parents finding out FAST?" link on their homepage.. i can't be the only one
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I need to have sex with you on our hotel room window ledge... This is a need not a request.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
Can't tell if waking up covered in easy mac is the sign of an amazing or terrible night
I guess the lesson here is that I shouldn't send nudes to elected officials.
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
I had to break up with her. She was sending me study schedules and recipes for vegan lasagna. I’m just trying to survive man
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