I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
after he gave me a diploma for giving him amazing head, getting a regular diploma isnt all that cool.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Fell asleep with Kristen and woke up with Sarah. It's official, vacation has begun.
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I think I fell asleep on the dance floor at one point...but played it off cool and acted like I just did the robot.
I felt like I should've driven him home but I was holding in a fart and just needed him to leave
Woke up at my x's house. He said I talked about how much I love panda's for fourty five minutes. Then made him watch The Little Mermaid with me. Made the walk of shame infront of his mom. Things can only really go up from here.
Wait till you get home.
If you feel frisky later I have a cowboy hat that would look great on you naked...
Who is this......
You wanna come over?
Too high to be booty called. My cereal is growing hair.
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