so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Also we saw a clown getting arrested. Rochester is weird.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
Have you ever come so hard that right after you have the urge to yell "make me a sandwich!"? ...I think my ovaries turned into testicles.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
We couldnt find you anywhere and when you finally answered your phone all you said was "im safe"
DO NOT PREHEAT THE OVEN THIS MORNING! WE STARTED USING IT AS A WINE STASH AROUND MIDNIGHT.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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