Did I miss anything?
A gay irish pirate, a caveman and hunter s tompson.
so we also did drugs
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Don't remember much from last night, but I recall slipping you the tounge. For that I apologize
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
So he told me he wanted to fertilize my caviar. Im avoiding all foreign exchange students from now on.
You opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a wall last night.
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
Would you accept a fantastic blowjob as payment?
Can I come kidnap you from work so we can chug mimosas? My little brother has a ski mask I can borrow.
there's a bowling ball in the dishwasher and a dog bone in the freezer
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
