i walked in on him listening to enya, jacking off, and vomiting into a cup on his desk. are you serious.
stephanie tanner's voice is so fucking annoying. no wonder she resorted to crystal meth.
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
I would like to request a high five for getting laid while wearing crocs and a crab hat.
by the way whatever wisdom you imparted upon me last night was lost to whatever i smoked out of a beer can.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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