I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
My hot female boss's cubical is right next to mine with a wall between us. Do you think it is too forward to make a glory hole in the wall?
I just realized i masturbated to the home shopping network. I either need to get a boyfriend asap, or a subscription to a porn website, or i just need to stop taking ambien
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
super high. so of course there was a shoot out at the bank. there are 20 cop cars no lie. if i make it out of this i will never smoke again
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
My saturday night consisted of sewing my Halloween costume and watching Blues Clues
You actually...sewed your costume?
i woke up and couldnt remember who was in my bed and it was so dark.. i rolled over and started kissing him and feeling his face because hey... if the blind can see like that.. maybe i could too
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
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