Stephanie. Problem. I think if I had met Murphy before Ben I would have fucked him instead.
Don't worry about your Murphy feelings. I may have fucked him no matter what.
You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
you were grabbing cocks left and right
you literally grabbed sam's dick and said, "who's cock is this?!"
My idea of sleeping together involves doing the Humpty Hump. Her idea of sleeping together focused more on being fully clothed on the opposite sides of a king sized bed.
Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I keep shaking cocoa puffs out of my hair. Best Sunday Funday ever.
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Something tells me tonight will end with me wearing my pants on my head again.
DO NOT LET HIM TAKE CONTROL OVER YOUR BOWELS
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
I'm really busy with my period
Randomize
