don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
soo according to the calendar on my phone, I'm 5 minutes late to have sex with that guy from work. Apparently we planned this, I even set an alarm.
FB needs to have a relationship status called...screwing my roommates bf..linking their names would be an easier to tell her!
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Dude I'm looking through my old high school year book and I circled every girl I fucked.. what was wrong with me.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
I make him buy me all the extremely expensive high end Mac cosmetics I desire. Wear it then let him cum on my face. I am fucking glamorous.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
Randomize
