Just found out what was wrong with Esther. Turns out she's 33 and still not married. This explains everything.
My STD test came back clean. I'd like to thank all the guys I've slept with, they made this possible. I want to say thanks to all my friends, for believing in me living up to the full slut potential. And last but not least, I'd like to thank alcohol. I wouldn't be who I am today w/out you. I feel like I need to frame this...
i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
then he said "your boobs looked so much bigger on girls gone wild"
I forgot about that,good spring break.
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
Mr. Clingalot just ran from our apartment. What the hell?
I started to cry afterward and mumble random things. Examples: "God, please don't make me be so gay anymore" and "my mom is going to be so proud of me for fucking a dude this time." It was that or let him stay the night and cuddle. I mean, fuck that horrible shit I'm a girl that needs her space.
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Don't make emojis simulating eating me out
Because I know nothing is hotter than ocean themed dick pics on SnapChat...
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
Thanks for coming out I think haley is drunk enough for breast milk White Russians
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