okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
she just asked me to help her create a twitter page for edward cullen's hair.... seriously.
so, the parking garage attendent caught us humping in the car. long story short, we have free parking whenever we want! take that abstinence.
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
Accidently said "your going to hurt the baby" when he got forceful with his thrusts. I guess I forgot to mention to him that we are pregnant.
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
Waking up next to a 3 inch puddle of water in my kitchen with a bathing suit on...what the fuck went on lastnight
Then, halfway through our conversation, I remembered what you drunkenly told me last night and was all "maintain eye contact, do not look at his massive penis".
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
We're going through the drive-through at mcdonalds while pulling sam behind us in the wheelchair and having them hand him the food. Let me know how this went in the morning
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
