were you the shorter or taller girl out of you two
i wonder what megan fox's vagina feels like.
Heaven soaked bacon.
If someone cleans their bathroom and shaves their crotch for you you kinda have to admit the relationship to facebook
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
She's the perfect storm when it comes to psycho stalkers
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
If you're asking how many times you took off your clothes and played with the tiki torches.....the answer is 3.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
We fucked, she finished, high fived me, the pulled a celebratory pack of gushers out of her purse for each of us. I'm going to marry your sister dude.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
I woke up in your kitchen with my ID in my hand and my nails were painted electric blue. Dude.... never let me have fireball again.
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
how goes living off caffiene and alcohol?
i may have recently shit my pants. on two separate occasions.
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
