I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
It was just like old times except for going to hangover throw up before waking my parents up to open presents. Merry Christmas!
My feelings are currently in a sea of vodka and "I don't give a shit"
Aren't they always?
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
3 2 1 whiskey
part of it says your brother mayyyy have put his lips on my vagina
she wants homewrecking advice
are you gonna teach her your ways?
obvs. i'm like her yoda.
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
