My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
Well, it was good.. One step forward for my vaj.. One giant leap backwards for my integrity.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
I'm going to go out on a limb and say last night was a success, also the neighbors are counting down the days until we move out.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I can't bring an entire liter in the bar in my purse. I mean I can. I might. I'm probably gonna.
I just realized that in 3 weeks it becomes sad if I make everything into a drinking game. Fuck growing up
We were mid fuck, and he did a Kermit the Frog impression. Is it weird that I was strangely turned on?
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
Just let me suck your dick and be happy. Let me have this.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
He came and farted at the same time. My life is over.
Randomize
