how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I just got an email from a bridal website with the subject "Countdown to your Wedding Day"... is 11AM too early to drink the rest of the wine we have?
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
The cop refused to sing with us, even though he was as happy as we were that the tow truck finally showed up.
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
I know I should be focused on nurturing their bright little minds but it's 10 a.m. and I need a cock in my mouth
I JUST FOUND AN INTERNATIONAL POLE DANCING CHAMPIONSHIP IN SPANISH
I've been laying here all day wondering why my back hurt so bad and then I remembered last night.... When you pushed me through that glass table.
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
Randomize
